As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
high people should be assigned attendants
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize