ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I could fuck to npr.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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