at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
