I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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