she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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