We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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