i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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