Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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