she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
