Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
