Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
