The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm too high and old for this...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize