Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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