Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think I am morally bankrupt
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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