I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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