I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The uberlube is also flammable
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
soo... how was my night?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
