Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Send help, water and tortillas.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
