I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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