So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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