Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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