So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
