if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
