Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
