I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
