I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
