Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
