I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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