i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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