I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
