My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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