BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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