brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
