So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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