I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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