Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize