i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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