I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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