I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
