yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
