Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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