Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
