i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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