Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Randomize
