And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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