WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
