i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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