I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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