Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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