Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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