the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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