i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
