RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
