Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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