I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
