i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
