Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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