so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
