Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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