I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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