if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I want to walk on stilts...naked
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
How does it feel to date your dad?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
