Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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