Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
bring money and cleavage
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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