I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
