Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
