is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
