I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
be right there i have to get my cape
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
